There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
