I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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