just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
