i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
