I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My feet surprised me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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