therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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