The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize