I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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