Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
