isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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