bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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