i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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