he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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