I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Found the puke drawer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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