I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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