I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
