i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
