I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
