To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
