Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
