what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
