i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
