Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
