Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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