it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
