your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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