good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
