Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
