so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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