She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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