I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
