yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
