before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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