They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
