last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
