Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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