you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
