What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
