S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
