You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
