She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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