you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
