So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
