I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
