My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize