jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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