You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
