I need help removing her.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
