her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
