Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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