so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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