Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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