i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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