So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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