I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize