I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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