how can u be prego again
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize