like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
