PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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