oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm like, not good at living.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize