it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
