I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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