I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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