I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize