he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
