you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My dick has a subreddit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
