Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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