we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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