am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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