and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize